"Daddy and Maddox Just Hang Out"

A few weeks ago while going about our Monday evening routine I was driving down the freeway heading to dinner with Maddox. He was talking in the backseat as usual, "Lightning Mcqueen is SOOOOOO red dad!!! And Mater is SOOOOOO grown (brown)!!!!" Just his usual banter in the backseat. Nowadays it involves "Toystory 3," "Cars," or "The Childrens and the Indians," since he's been learning about Thanksgiving at school. He then said something that really caught me off guard, "girls date." Wait what? What is he talking about. Then he said, "mommy dates." First of all I was confused because how does a two year old know what dating is? How does he know that his mommy does it? "Does Maddox date?" I asked him. "NO! Daddy and Maddox just hang out!" I felt a strong sense of pride and purpose after hearing that. Damn straight we do Maddox. This was Maddox's first assertion of something that most guys don't pick up on until they're in their teens. Usually when one of their friends starts dating and the rest of them are either too awkward or too ugly to get their own girlfriend, and out of jealousy they start to say something to the affect of "bros before hoes." Now I don't agree with calling any woman or girl a hoe. I think it's distasteful and disrespectful. But I do like the comradery and unity that usually accompanies the saying. Maddox was pointing out to me that we have each other. We have all we need. Not that dating when you have a child is a bad thing, in fact it's a healthy thing. I like to date as much as the next guy (actually I hate it, the dating game is a joke.) I enjoy the company of a pretty lady every now and again. But not at the expense of my Maddie time. And don't know how I'll ever get to the point where I can invite someone into our little world that we've created. We have our own inside jokes, we have our own rituals, and we have our own love and happiness. We are the most prolific touchdown duo in all of American Fork Utah. Maddox and I combine for at least 10 touchdowns each and every football session in our living room, which is always followed by him pointing at me and yelling "YOU! Good job man!!!" I feel happy to have that type of connection with my son, the type of connection that propels him to say, "NO! Daddy and Maddox just hang out."

GOOD JOB DAD!!!

This morning was a lot like most mornings. I heard Maddox talking down the hall at like 4 AM, I really didn't want to try and help him fall back asleep in his room, and if I don't help him go back to sleep, or put him in my bed, "oatmeal and sesame street time" will ensue. I was pretty tired so I took the easy way out, I went in and grabbed him and put him in my bed. He takes over the bed. Ever see Elway in the fourth quarter of a close football game? Ever see Michael Jordan in the final 4 minutes of a basketball game? That's what Maddox does in my bed, he asserts his dominance, totally controls the situation and makes himself at home. He spreads out, does whatever he wants, whenever he wants to do it. In fact sometimes he'll be so in control of the bed that I wake up a few hours later on the floor. Who cares that he's only 2 feet tall, he's taking every square foot of that bed that he can. Anyways, I wake up next to him, in a headlock with his knee in my ribs, and I stumble into the bathroom. I do the usual morning routine, as I'm finishing up washing my face Maddox comes into the bathroom beaming. "Daddy, did you go poop?!" This already has me laughing, "No Maddie." He smiles even bigger, "Daddy, did you go pee?!?!!?" "Yes Maddox, I did go pee." Somehow his smile got even bigger, "GOOD JOB DADDY!!!" As he patted me on the back of the leg. This was the best positive affirmation that I'd received in months. We continued on with our routine and as I got out of the shower a little later he came into the bathroom. "Daddy, did you take a shower? " He asked as he smiled. "Yes I did Maddie." I responded. "Are you all clean?" (Huge smile on his face) "Indeed I am Maddox." "GREAT JOB DADDY!!! Now you can put on some clothes!" Not only was this nice because it was probably the best morning mood he's been in months, it was great to get some good feedback for once. It seems like this cruel world just doesn't dish out positive feedback, ever. Most of the time in the work place we're reminded of what we're not doing, or what we're doing wrong. In our relationships all too often we dwell on what's wrong and not what's right. We're almost never reminded of the positive things that we do. My little dude, that little angel that is the one bright spot in every bad day that I have, he is so good at making me see the positive. I'd never been so proud to go pee in the toilet, or so happy to get all clean in the shower. Just another reason I love my little dude.

Halloween

To me Halloween has always been overrated. I don't like to dress up, and although I consider myself a pretty creative person, I have no creativity when it comes to finding a "cool costume." As a kid I don't think I was ever anything except for a pirate or a vampire. Every year it was either pirate or vampire time. So I guess it wasn't surprising to me when we took Maddox shopping for a halloween costume and he was about as excited as I am to do my online billpay session every month. His mother and I were trying to sell it, "Maddie, look at this one, it's BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!" He'd respond with, "I want chicken nuggets," or "can you buy me some trucks?" Finally we came upon the Elmo costume, he loves elmo, and agreed that it would probably be the best option for him. The Elmo costume is basically a furry muscle shirt with a hood that looks like Elmo's head. We decided that we needed to get him some red clothes to go under the furry muscle shirt so that he could, you know, look like elmo. As we looked for clothes the only thing that would work were some red stretchy pants and a long sleeve red t-shirt. I have a rule that no child containing my genetic material is allowed to wear red levi's, so we went with red stretchy pants, which look hilarious with his chicken legs and his diaper bulge. This was the costume our labors yielded.

The first opportunity Maddox had to wear his costume with me came at my work. After a parking lot wrestling match he let me know he didn't want to wear his Elmo threads. His exact words were, "Don't take off my Yankees jacket! I don't want to wear the Elmo coat, I'm going to smack you in the face." I took his not so subtle hint and let him wear his stretchy pants with the bulge, his yankees jacket, and the only shoes he'd wear that morning, his church shoes into my work. I decided it was better to look like a retarted guy who can't dress his kid, than to force Maddox to wear a costume when he didn't want to wear. We had a good time, everyone gave him candy, he probably even got more because they felt bad for his daddy dressing him like a gay tap dancing yankees fan. More importantly he got to play with his good buddy Lincoln.

Saturday was his second opportunity to wear the Elmo costume. Maddox and I had my family over to watch football and eat Saturday night. I had kind of warned everyone that he might not be down to wear the costume, and it was raining so we might not do the trick or treating at all. My grandpa came prepared. He brought a handful of candy in his pants pocket so that Maddox could at least say "trick or treat" to him. The best part of this was seeing my grandpa handing Maddox the smashed up melted candy bars that he'd brought. I love that guy. After dinner I asked Maddox if he wanted to go trick or treating with me, to my surprise he responded, "um, yes." I hurried and put on his furry muscle shirt with the elmo head hood. I kept re-assuring him that it was just a coat, and I was just taking him outside to get candy. He happily went along at this point, and took off towards the neighbor's door as soon as we went outside. Each door we went to was a new thrill for him. When he was given something he'd say, "thank you, can I have that red sucker too?" Or something like that. Sometimes he'd just want to get down to business and would go straight to, (pointing at the candy bowl) "Please?!" There weren't many trick or treaters out in our little community so Maddie got loaded up with candy.

As he held my hand walking to each door I couldn't help but think about how fast time is flying by. I watched my little boy knocking on doors, telling people "thank you." And smiling so big each time they would give him candy. I just kept wondering how this got here so fast. It was just a little while ago his mom and I brought him home. It was just a little while ago he started sitting up, rolling over, crawling, walking, etc. I want this to slow down a bit. Sadly I don't think it will. He is my whole world, and I'm so grateful for the little things he does everyday that make me laugh, the progress he makes that amazes me, and the special moments we share that remind me how much it is possible to love someone. I know this much, for the first time in my life Halloween wasn't overrated this year.